


Sing Me To Sleep

by misackles



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Human Castiel, M/M, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-20
Updated: 2014-01-20
Packaged: 2018-01-09 09:35:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1144401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misackles/pseuds/misackles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The angels have fallen and Castiel is back living with the Winchesters in the bunker. <br/>But Cas is heartbroken and he's alone and he doesn't want to wake up on his own anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sing Me To Sleep

**Author's Note:**

> This is a songfic to Asleep by the Smiths. Listen to the song while reading for ultimate full-scale feels.

_Sing me to sleep._

_Sing me to sleep._

Castiel was alone in his room, lying comfortably under his sheets. He was wearing one of the shirts Dean had given him, which was just a bit too big for him. But he liked it – the way it draped comfortably over his tired body and didn’t fit too firmly in any one place.

_I’m tired, and I want to go to bed._

“Dean…” He called out, but his voice came out as a whisper. He could hear the hunter’s footsteps in the hallway. “Dean…” He called again, trying to raise his head from the pillow but feeling too weak.

The hunter appeared in the doorway, looking quite tired himself. “Cas, is everything alright?”

_Sing me to sleep._

_Sing me to sleep._

_I don’t want to wake up on my own anymore._

Castiel patted the sheets beside him, signaling for Dean to come sit on the bed. Dean did so, looking down at his friend with concern. “Will you stay with me….until I fall asleep?” Castiel asked. His voice was hushed, not much more than a whisper.

Dean nodded. It was something he had done countless times for Castiel. Nights were always the hardest time for the fallen angel. The memories always came flooding back at night. Castiel would wake screaming in fits of fear until Dean came into his room and sat with him until he fell asleep once more. “Of course.”

_Sing to me._

_Sing to me._

Castiel smiled a thank you. He squeezed his eyes so tightly shut that tiny dots of colours began to span across his vision. He opened them and turned to the man close to his side. “Dean, I….” He trailed off, unable to find the words. He gulped and started again. “I don’t think I’ll be waking up this time…”

Dean looked at the fallen angel, concern growing in his eyes and a lump forming in his throat. “What do you mean Cas?”

Castiel slid his hands out from under the sheets. “I think you know what I mean.”

Dean suddenly lurched off the bed. “Shit. Did you take something Cas?”

Castiel nodded, an almost proud nod. Like a child confirming to his friends that he had stolen some candy he was not meant to.

Dean’s hands flew up to form tight fists in his hair, he clenched his eyes shut as an almighty sense of guilt washed over him. He almost buckled over from the pain of the knot that formed in his stomach. “What did you take?” He cried. “Tell me what you took!”

From the bed, Castiel just shook his head. It was all irrelevant. He was so delightfully comfortable and warm in his bed, in Dean’s shirt.  

_Don’t try to wake me in the morning,_

_Cause I will be gone._

Castiel watched as his friend buried his hand into his jean pocket and found his mobile. “I’ll call an ambulance.” He fiddled desperately with the phone, his whole body shaking.

“I already did the courtesy of removing your battery.” Castiel breathed. He was so tried now; he just wanted to close his eyes.

“Fuck!” Dean cried, and actually threw his phone at the wall. He sprinted out into the hallway and Castiel listened as he tried to use the landline to call for help.

“And I disconnected that too.” Castiel almost chuckled to himself, even though Dean couldn’t hear him.

“Sam!” He heard Dean’s voice echo through the bunker, an actual scream. Castiel had never heard or seen such pure fear in his friend. “ _Sam!”_ There was no reply. There was no one else around. There was no help.

Dean came skidding back into Castiel’s room, cursing. “Shit Cas! _Shit!_ ” He cried from the doorway, just staring at Castiel’s weak figure lying happily in his bed.

Castiel patted the bed sheets once more and Dean – more reluctantly this time – came and sat beside him once more. The fallen angel let his arm rest beside Dean’s, opening his palm as an invite. The hunter rested his hand on top of it and Castiel squeezed it gently, trying to signal his appreciation.

_Don’t feel bad for me._

“It’s okay.” Castiel held Dean’s hand, comforting him. His eyelids kept dropping closed. He tried his hardest to keep them open. He hadn’t seen enough of Dean just yet. He needed to know he was here with him. He needed to know he would stay. “It’s okay.” He whispered again.

_I want you to know,_

_Deep in the cell of my heart,_

_I will feel so glad to go home._

Dean was crying. Properly crying. “I want this Dean.” Castiel looked into the wet green eyes of the man he admired so much. “ _I need_ this.”

Dean shook his head, trying to stop the tears. “I need _you.”_ He choked.

Castiel continued, as if not hearing Dean. “I just want to go….”

 _“Where_ Cas?” Dean suddenly shouted. “Where will you go? There’s no heaven. There’s _nothing.”_

_There is another world._

_There is a better world._

_There must be._

_There must be._

Castiel smiled dreamingly up the roof. It was fading now…the green of the ceiling becoming white…then gray…and now slowly black… His vision blurred and his body became weightless. He tried so hard to hold on to the feeling of Dean’s hand in his. “There has to be something better out there.” His chest rose outwards with a gasp of air and then collapsed back down. “Somewhere.”

_There must be._

_There must be._

Castiel’s eyelids grew heavier. He let his head fall towards Dean, making sure the man’s blurry figure was the last thing he ever saw. He held on to it. His tears. Their hands. He held on to it. He let his eyelids fall shut for the last time, Dean’s image still imprinted on the back of them. He smiled blissfully to himself, thinking of only the hunter and nothing outside of the hunter.

_Don’t try to wake me in the morning._

_Cause I will be gone._

An almighty sob escaped Dean’s lips as Cas fell silent and his breaths shorter. His chest seemed to stop rising all together. “ _Oh God Cas!”_ He cried. “Stay with me buddy. Please _stay with me_.” He violently shook Cas’ hand. It drooped weakly in his grip.

A final smile spread across Castiel’s lips as he took his last breath and let his chest collapse.

“I am right here with you Dean….”

 


End file.
